Waving Not Drowning

[chase820]

Hello, all. I’ve had a week to decompress from posting the latest update of Secret Vulcan Mating Rituals, and I’m feeling almost human again. You writers out there will know how emotionally taxing it can be to let something go after it’s been cooking in your mental oven for weeks and weeks: I always get terrifically depressed, in the manner of Sherlock Holmes after finishing an interesting case. A few days soon sets me right again, however.

I’ve been mostly resting my brain this week, aside from answering some feedback. I have, however, been enjoying the T.V. Show Archer to an obscene degree. Is anybody else following this? It’s like Arrested Development meets James Bond meets Daria. There’s nothing like a really good adult cartoon, and this is one of those. If you were fans of any of the above things, I strongly recommend checking it out. Just Jon Benjamin’s line deliveries as petulant super-spy Sterling Archer make your twenty minutes of attention worthwhile.

I’ve also been following with some interest the commentary on Whitney Houston’s death. I was never a huge fan of hers, but I do remember when she was the biggest pop star in the goddamn world. Amazing how easy it is to let all that slip away, after working so long and hard to obtain it. The closest analogy I can think of is Judy Garland, who died at about the same age. I don’t know if Houston will have the same long-term legacy as Garland, though it’s quite possible. Their voices touched many people, long after Garland and Houston were capable of focusing on nothing but their own addictions.

In other news, I’ve finally won a draw with the student loan people, who will now be charging me a reasonable payment on my loans every month, as opposed to the unreasonable one originally scheduled. I employed my usual method in dealing with huge bureaucracies: I threw paperwork at them in humongous piles until they finally shut up and went away. I pretty much rock at paperwork. It’s one of my few marketable skills.

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been answering feedback on SVMR as its comes in this week. I would have liked to receive a bit more than I did, but isn’t that always the case? I realize that when one’s fic passes the 300,000 word mark, you’re asking a major commitment of readers. You can’t be surprised if many of them want to make absolutely sure it’s going to be finished before wading in. Even if they do read the WIP, after 53 chapters you can’t blame anybody for feeling a little overwhelmed by the whole saga. I know I do. I like to think we’re much closer to the end than the beginning; another twenty chapters should hopefully do it. I really want this thing finished a comfortable amount of time before the next movie comes out, when my whole fictive universe will be inevitably Jossed by canon. Such is the way of fanfiction.



Winnie

Okay, okay, I get it: Everybody hates Winnie. I sort of knew that was already the case, and I was really hoping that the two Iowa flashback chapters would assuage everyone’s revulsion a bit. No such luck: After the scene in the white room in San Francisco, I gave up hope of making y’all like her. Can’t blame you, really. Winnie was so cold and horrible in that scene, it was getting hard for me to like her. But I do, ultimately, even when I find her frustrating. She’s one of the scariest characters I’ve ever written, definitely the scariest female. She’s the embodiment of pure, blinding, female rage, and part of me takes great pleasure in watching her rampage. If I were feeling snooty, I would align her with Athena or Durga or one of the other ancient warrior goddesses, but unlike those two, she’s no virgin. Is there an ancient warrior mother goddess? If there were, Winnie would be her avatar. Not likable, maybe, but certainly fascinating.

And for those of you who asked, yeah, the Tenth Doctor was her college Physics teacher. I didn’t know why at the time. As with many parts of this story, my subconscious served up the notion and I just went with it. Now that I’ve written all seven chapters it’s become clear, though I probably won’t come back to Winnie and the Doctor for a while. I will at some point, though: He does like to keep popping up. If this story has a narrator, it’s him.


If my science teachers had looked like this, I might have become a geologist, too.


Tony Chapel

Everybody seems to like Tony a great deal more than Winnie. Which isn’t surprising, since he’s been much nicer to Jim. I think Tony is just as dangerous and scary as Winnie, in his way, but since this isn’t his story, or his son’s story, we didn’t get to see him cut anybody’s testicles off. Rest assured, though, Tony is more than capable of that. His main purpose, besides allowing Jim a rest in a pretty garden, was to serve as the one purely positive paternal figure in an update that was full of bad daddies. He gives Jim the most important things in the world at just the time he needs them most: truth and choice. It’s safe to say that without Tony’s timely intervention, Jim would have become just as bad as Ivan. For all her dire efforts, Winnie wasn’t able to keep him from that path, and in many ways she set him on it. One of the real tragedies of the story is that whenever Winnie tries to be a good mother, she screws it up royally. The more she’s with her sons, the more she seems to mess them up. No wonder she leaves them on their own so often.

By the by, the place where Tony takes Jim is a real conservatory in San Francisco. I took a few liberties with the layout, supposing that in the 250 years between now and Chapter 53, there might be a few changes. If I ever make it out that way, I’m definitely visiting:


The Conservatory of Flowers, Golden Gate Park, San Francisco. This is the aquatic plants room. You can't see the giant hanging pitcher plants in this shot, but they're there. I was so happy when I saw the pictures of the pitcher plants, when decorating the set for a scene that was all about hidden dangers. There's nothing like a good organic metaphor, is there?


Oh, and in his prime, Tony looked like James McAvoy:



Alexei looked like this:

I don’t think they were actually lovers (Tony is pretty straight), but I certainly wouldn’t mind watching them make out. Would you?


Mars

I know everybody sped right through it, but I am most proud of my Memnonia set. The most difficult scene in the entire fic is in Chapter 48, and it’s not one people probably thought much about: Ivan’s conversation with the teenage prostitute. Besides building the street set, I also had to create Martian slang from scratch. I did the best I could with various translating software and my high school Spanish, figuring I could chalk up any egregious errors to the general seediness of everything on Mars, even the syntax. The two days it took me to write those three paragraphs ended up paying off big time, however, because I didn’t realize that Ivan was Martian until he took the time to give money to poor Aleesa.

I always knew that Ivan was telling the truth when he said he was teenager hustler whose mother was a heroin addict. But I didn’t know where that all took place. Ivan’s identity as Martian became important not only to understanding who he really is, but also how he influenced Jim’s development. In this way, he’s another one of Jim’s many father figures, albeit the most terrifying and unhealthy of the lot.

My Mars is very much influenced by Philip K. Dick’s, whose view of the red planet is quite different than, say, Wells’ or Bradbury’s. My Mars isn’t heaven, it isn’t even hell. Or if it is hell, it’s a particularly human variety, the one we make for ourselves whenever we allow our lower passions to rule. It’s Vegas without the glitz, Tijuana without the ambience: If Jim had to confront the darkest parts of himself, it’s fitting that it all took place in Memnonia. It’s also not surprising that when he turned on Leonard in Chapter 46, he dragged them both back to Mars.



This is a pretty good artist's rendition of how I see Mars. Mine has more strip clubs and topless taco stands, though.


By the way, that Simpsons clip that’s showing in Room 44 is real. It’s one of my favorites:

For those of you who are curious, I am planning to get back to writing ASAP. Just remember that my RL schedule is pretty brutal, and this isn’t the type of story—especially at this stage—that can just be vomited willy-nilly upon the page. Rest assured that I am always working on it, and I will give you all more as soon as I can find time to come up with something worthy. Until then, your patience is appreciated.



Well, that’s all, kittens. I have some cooking and some grading to do, which will take up most of the rest of the day. Also, more Archer episodes. I don’t know why the adventures of a petulant spy and the misfits he works with provide good ambient noise for making quiche, but they do. Until we speak again, keep well.

Comments

[samandriel.livejournal.com]

Wow!

I /love/ reading Author's Notes.

It's like getting inside your head, in the best possible way.

I will keep these handy for when I actually get the most recent chapter.


Re: the warrior/mother goddess: Ishtar/Astarte and/or the Egyptian Sekhmet is who you are looking for.

Ishtar is actually the origin of the Greek's (much later) Aphrodite. The Babylonians/Sumerians (really, most of the ancient world /except/ Greece/Rome) believed in well-rounded gods as opposed to one-dimensional gods (sort of like the difference between Joss's characters and characters in many other shows). Many of their gods were in fact "bi-polar" or "omni-polar" in nature. Ishtar was goddess not only of love and fertility but also warfare and occasionally death.

For whatever reason, the Greeks decided that having a love goddess occupy the same space as a warrior goddess was a problem, so Ishtar gets split into Aphrodite/Athena, one goddess taking the love/lots of sex/motherhood aspect and the other taking the warfare/death aspect.

My Ancient Egyptian teacher in uni mentioned that there are a few instances, here and there, of Aphrodite again embodying the "warfare" aspect, but they are few and far between.

It is important to remember, however, that Aphrodite was no wilting flower--she had a backbone of steel, and woe betide any who crossed her. There are numerous accounts of her being petty/evil/vicious/cruel just because someone spited her (or looked at her the wrong way).

Part of it is probably "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" and the rest is probably her "mama bear" status.

Welp, this is turning into an essay that I didn't mean to write.

I hope some of this was a little bit interesting. *is sheepish*

[chase820.livejournal.com]

Ah, very interesting. I'd heard of Ishtar before, but I was thinking of her in her Aphrodite sense, not her Athena sense. Good to know! Winnie is Ishtar, then. :)

[mustangsally78.livejournal.com]

Sekhmet. Told you. She was the one who was assuaged by red-colored beer because she thought it was blood. Had the head of a lioness. Was the darker personification of Bast.

:::pokes you:::

We totally need drinks after this update.

[chase820.livejournal.com]

Drinks of red beer? I guess that would be appropriate. :)

[usedtobeljs]

Cheers for your victory over the student loan people and cheers for making it through your week. :-)

[chase820.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon. I'm counting the days until Spring Break! (Hope we can still make lunch.)

[lindarella123.livejournal.com]

I had lunch on Friday with a friend who said I should be watching Archer. Now, you've mentioned it, too. It must be a sign. I need to watch it. :D

[chase820.livejournal.com]

I've been hearing about it and not paying attention, and then three people recommended it to me in the same week. I really is worth checking out.

[cmdc.livejournal.com]

I like winnie

[cmdc.livejournal.com]

The fact that the damn tarsus was her fault when she tried to do the right thing for the boys just blows my mind. Jim really is a herald of disaster.

[chase820.livejournal.com]

A herald of fate, certainly. Tarsus IV wasn't any one person's fault (except maybe Kodos), but it was certainly a tragic chain of circumstances.

[chase820.livejournal.com]

Good. That makes two readers so far. ;)

[jackshaftoe.livejournal.com]

Kids, drugs are bad.

Sony spent big money on Whitney Houston's debut album to highlight the quality of the (then) new CD format. It was a cool piece of production and engineering, and I think the quality of the disc was a major factor in her popularity. Having the voice/image was only part of the puzzle; she emerged at the right time.

(Sadly, I think the 1990 reissue was futzed with to expand the dynamic range to make the CD sound "better" to typical consumers listening in their cars or other noisy environments. My original pressing of the CD from 1985 was stolen in college, and the replacement I purchased just wasn't the same.)

If you haven't seen it and are in the mood for a "popcorn" movie, find "The Bodyguard". Personally, I think the flick gets short shrift because the featured song got way too much airplay in the 90s on Top 40 stations. The male lead is Kevin Costner at the top of his game pre-"Waterworld", and more than a little ground was broken because race was never mentioned on-screen as an issue in the relationship between the two main characters (at least in the cut I saw).

[chase820.livejournal.com]

I saw the film when it first came out, but never re-watched it because I'm not a fan of Houston or Costner. I will give them props on the race thing, though. Apparently, Madonna really wanted the part but lost out partly because she made fun of Costner in Truth or Dare. Also, she's a terrible, terrible actress.

[jackshaftoe.livejournal.com]

Regardless of what she said about Costner, Madonna was box office poison by 1992. "Shanghai Surprise" was the beginning of the end for George Harrison's Handmade Films, and Madge got most of the blame when "Dick Tracy" didn't produce "Batman"-level box office as expected.

BTW, personally, I don't view Madonna as the problem with "Dick Tracy" as much as Warren Beatty in both director and star capacity. Beatty has a BluRay in the works from a new print, however, so I'm not going to cr*p on the man too much; the visual style of the film is still unique.

[chase820.livejournal.com]

Madonna's main problem as an actress is a total lack of vulnerability. It doesn't matter how many clothes she takes off, she can't be naked for the lens, emotionally speaking. She worked in Desperately Seeking Susan because she only had to be street smart and wisecracking. Ask her for anything deeper and she just can't get there. Not surprising, given what a control freak she reportedly is.

As you said, insult to Costner or no, she could never have played the lead in The Bodyguard. I can't imagine Madonna seeming vulnerable to a stalker. She'd take him out with one cup of her pointy Gaultier bra.

[jackshaftoe.livejournal.com]

Maybe Madonna should contact "Doctor Who" to talk about a guest role. I'm still amazed at what they did with Kylie Minogue, poster child for "Madonna Wannabe".

[chase820.livejournal.com]

Oh God, please keep Madonna away from Who. In fact, I hope she stays away from cameras entirely with her melted pumpkin face. A multi-millionare ought to be able to afford better plastic surgery.

[jackshaftoe.livejournal.com]

I speak from experience with Mrs. Dr. Shaftoe -- extremely wealthy people often have bizarre definitions of what qualifies someone as a "good" doctor (cough ... Michael Jackson ... cough). Plus, plastic surgeons who run their own clinics do not have to deal with board certification so the standards in that branch of medicine are really loose.

[jackshaftoe.livejournal.com]

I spent most of "Truth or Dare" in shock so I can't remember what was said about Costner. The film itself is tame by my standards, but I figured out my date was bi- that evening before the movie. Long story.

To the straight Y chromosomes out there reading that last paragraph: Regardless of what you might think, a bisexual girlfriend is not cool.

[chase820.livejournal.com]

I'd think she'd only be cool if she was into girl-girl-boy threesomes and had a lot of hot friends. Assuming the guy was into group sex, of course. I know a ggm threesome is supposed to be the ultimate male fantasy, but I doubt that's true for every guy out there.

[auntyk.livejournal.com]

decided to go check out Secret Vulcan Mating Rituals and I have to say wow. Wouldn't have said I was a big reader of ST fanfic, but a few good fic have got me finding more. I wasn't sure with the pairing as to whether I'd stick with the story but a testament to your writing and character development....I'm still reading. Well done on some nicely crafted work

[chase820.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying it.

[auntyk.livejournal.com]

I'm basically ploughed through all the chapters available. Probably a good thing I'm home sick at the moment otherwise I could see a sleepless night spent reading before having to go to work.

Thank you for keeping me amused while I've been sick :P

I'm still waiting for an AO3 invite, do you usually post heads-up on LJ? I admit, I don't remember seeing any but I can be a bit blind at times too.

[chase820.livejournal.com]

I've heard the reading-while-sick response before. My fic has restorative powers! :)

Whenever I post new chapters there is always a heads-up on LJ, so no worries there. I'm glad my story could bring you solace when you were under the weather.

[sirius-my-luv.livejournal.com]

i just finished devouring the latest chapters (i would have finished them last night, but i had to go to sleep. damn work, always getting in the way)

there was so much going on in these chapters- martian dialect, learning about winnie & ivan, more of jim's past, alexei's influence and so much more. i'm just going to slowly absorb it and them maybe leave a better comment.

i'm definitely willing to wait for more chapters. you hit it right on the head when you said you can't just post chapters with whatever comes out; your story is so detailed and has so much depth that it takes time and work to flesh everything out.

excellent work!

[chase820.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for the comments. I agree that this latest update is stuffed full, and some readers may wonder where this whole thing is going. A lot of the payoff takes place in the next section, so hopefully after that, everything will fall into place. I would, of course, love to hear more detailed thoughts from you if you do re-read.

I'm hoping very much that there isn't a seven-month break before the next update. We're getting fairly close to the end, and I'd like to have this story off my conscience.

Thanks again for the feedback.

[deliciousny.livejournal.com]

Fantastic post! If I love something and there is a commentary on it, I will consume it,so this is all gravy to me.

What I'm really excited about is having Valentines stuff out of the way so I can get back into some svmr moments I've been itching to get to. I really wanna do haunted!child!mccoy and this moment;

Sarek is far away on business, and it is just Spock and Amanda. His head is in her lap, and she is stroking his hair. An indulgence he would never have allowed if Father were here, but Sarek is not here. Spock is warm and happy, and for once unashamed of the emotion. Mother is telling him lovely Terran fairy tales, full of strange and wonderful creatures: Sinbad and Alice, Dorothy and Brer Rabbit. The world has narrowed to the sweetness of her voice, the warmth of her lap, the softness of her hand in his hair. He is just a boy. The pleasures and demands of manhood are far away. Spock is happier without them.

Did you ever see Tree of Life? The son's respective relationships with his mother and father made me think of Spock. There's a moment in the film that's pretty much what you described in that passage. Terrence Malick ain't got nothin' on you!

[chase820.livejournal.com]

You could do a childhood trio! Spock and Winona, Jim and Winnie (the scene at the end of Chapter 50) and McCoy and his ghostly grandpa.

I'm not actually telling you what to draw, of course. But it just occurred to me that I did have three early childhood scenes, one for each of the three main characters. I don't know quite how that happened.

[chase820.livejournal.com]

Oh, and BTW, I haven't seen Tree of Life, but I'm not surprised that there is a similar scene. Sarek is just the ultimate emotionally unavailable father: There have been those in fiction since time began.

Sal and I were talking about the fic last night, and she suggested that one reason Spock might not have seen his father much as a boy is that the Vulcan workday is probably 12-15 hours. If the species only needs about 4 hours of sleep a night, that would make sense. Sarek would have been gone before Spock awoke in the morning and returning after Spock was in bed. Poor Spock.

Whatever you decided to draw for my fic, I am as always flattered and eager to see it. :)

[alexis-sd.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to say that I am one of those who like the fic very much, but I'm waiting for it to be complete, because I get irritated that I can't know what happens next. I read the legend of Vulcan last and since then, I'm (not so) patiently awaiting for you to complete the story. But I want you to know that there are people like me out there, who might be a bit silent lately, but have not forgotten your fic.

Take your time and write at your own pace and I'll be ready to jump the fic as soon as it's complete, starting at the very beginning. Enjoy writing :)

[chase820.livejournal.com]

Thanks for letting me know that you're still interested in the story. My hope is to have it done by this summer, though of course you can never be entirely sure until you write "The End." Wish me luck!